Poem - Freedom

And so I sit here in this empty room

Alone, but for my own thoughts and fears

I am cautious, weary, and try to shield my eyes

From the images projected all around me

The sounds I do not want to hear.

 

I curl into a corner

My hands cradling my head

Like a precious, fragile, china doll

Holding so many secrets; regrets

Afraid that if I let go, it will fall

And smash

And all the thoughts within me

Will come flooding out

With no apology

No way to stop it.

 

I sit

Amidst the terror and confusion

I have a choice to make

The rest of my life

Resting upon this very moment.

 

I am sick with dread and fear

The unknowing

Filling my mind with thoughts

Of what if – a thousand buts.

 

I lift my head and force my eyes

To take in the scene before me

The fears that have broken free

From the threshold of my mind.

 

The memories and thoughts

I was so desperate to forget

I take it all in

Drinking the poison like a famished child.

 

I struggle

And I force myself to stay alert.

The feelings that have become so familiar

Are threatening to consume me.

 

I fight back

My mind kicking and screaming in rebellion

Revulsion

 

I am strong

I can do this

I can break through these chains

Which have been holding me back forever

 

I can do this

I will.