Right
now I feel like running,
I’ve
nothing to stay here for.
I
lie awake at night with tears
Streaming
down my face
Like
a waterfall from my eyes.
The
salty drops I’ve come to know,
Come
to fear,
Come
to love.
My
only friends.
The
only ones that know me;
Know
how I feel.
My
heart beats.
Not
because it wants to,
Not
because I command it to;
It
just does.
I
can’t stop it – I wish I could.
The
beats echo in my mind
Like
a marching band.
It
lingers on and on.
Oh,
how I long for it to just
Stop.
Last night I
dreamt
About a place
called “Here”
The land was
fertile
The grass,
luscious and effervescent.
The flowers
were plentiful;
Almost
meadow-worthy
The trees were
smooth and the branches
Low enough for
my fingers to caress.
The sky, as
clear as the crystalline water
The brook,
cascading down the hills
It was
mesmerising
It’s melody
playing directly to my soul.
The birds that
dipped their beaks from the posy-ridden banks
Their happy
chirping a perfect accompaniment
To the gushing
water and delicate breeze.
The sun, a
bright dazzling ember
Looking upon
me as a doting mother
Admiring her
newborn.
The fragile
clovers and buttercups
Covering the
grassy slopes,
Tickling my
bare feet as I wander aimlessly through
Endless time
and space.
No deadlines;
no diaries; no sand
Slipping
through my fingers as I clasp them around
The stem of a
dazzling daffodil
Dew drops
glistening on its full and bright trumpet
I pluck it
from the ground and bring it to my nose
Breathing in
its bittersweet aroma and I know,
It cannot
last,
This world of
paradise,
I am not ready
for this place yet.
I replace the
flower
Like a suction
pad upon a wall of tiles it re-attaches
And begins to
thrive once more
For in this
land of plenty, there is no death; no limit.
I hear a
familiar ticking and I know
My time here
is almost over.
I sprint
across the meadow, my eyes scanning the scene
Taking a
mental photograph,
Trying to
memorise this paradise that I can feel
In each of my
senses.
I awake to a dark,
misty morning,
Four walls
enveloping me and a ticking clock beside me
I long to
revisit that Utopia on the other side of my eyelids
Until that
day,
I have only my
memories and
My dreams.
I’m Fine
All Is Well
No Problems Here.
My face tells you
the easy version
The
go-about-your-day version
The too-long-don’t-read,
Pass-me-by-and-say-you-did-your-best
version
Pat-on-the-back-and-sleep-soundly-all-night,
Don’t-look-too-closely-and-see-the-cracks
version.
I’m Fine.
But don’t come too
close.
All Is Well.
Or so I want you
to think.
No Problems Here.
None that I can
tell you about.
I don’t have the
energy
To get into it
Don’t have the
strength
The mental capacity
So,
I’m Fine
All Is Well
No Problems Here.
Fix your smile
Adjust the mask
Make sure the
truth is covered
Neat and tidy
Spick and span
Nobody likes to
see a secret mess
Nobody needs to
deal with real-life truths
Protect them
Take one for the
team
I’m Fine
All Is Well
No Problems Here.
Hot coffee
In my cup
Black
Deep and dark
My cup or my
soul?
Swirling,
whirling
Stir it up
Trouble is
brewing
Darkness approaching
Steam, like soft
tendrils
Falling up
instead of down
Upside-down world
Where wrong is
right
And good is bad
Day turns into
night,
No dusk
No dawn
No clouds
No milk
Just empty black
sky
Everlasting
Is it real?
Can I touch it?
Where am I?
Am I flying or am
I falling?
Tumbling down the
stairs with no parachute
Do I exist?
Is this real?
Hot coffee
In my cup
Steaming
Black
Bottomless pit
Don’t fall in.
Go to sleep
My beautiful girl
Sleep now, and
forever
Because this
world is not safe for you
Sleep, sweet girl
And stay away
from
The poisons all
around you
Shh, now
It’s time to lie
down
Close your eyes
Drift away and dream
Of a better place
Where nobody
knows you
Nobody hurts you
Dream of a land
where you are free
Your wings are
full and untampered with
Fly away
To this land of
no return
Where you can
smile
Without your mask
And, no,
Your fragile face
will not shatter
That was a lie
A myth told to
you by those
Who would keep
you in danger
You don’t need to
be afraid of them
Go to sleep
And find your
refuge
Rest your aching
eyes
Nobody will see
the pain in them anymore
Sleep now, my
love
In a bed you’ve
shed no tears in
Nothing is coming
You’re all alone
You’re safe now
Sleep, my darling,
sleep.